By Abdul Mohammed Lawal.
It is a beautiful thing when a mother is also a mentor. It becomes even more beautiful when life opens new doors for her son, and she finds herself learning new things from the boy she raised. With every new space he enters, she sees again that parenting does not truly end; it only changes shape. The greatest joy of a mother is not money or public praise. It is raising children she can one day present to her Creator and say, “I tried my best. I taught them well.”
There is an even deeper joy when a son takes the good he received, improves on it, and uses it to open doors his mother never imagined she would see. This is the story of Dr. Mahmoud Bala Alfa and the woman who moulded his life: Hajiya Halima Ikwuji Alfa.
Before Mahmoud became known and respected, there was a home where values mattered more than comfort. Hajiya Halima did not raise her son with noise or fear; she raised him with steady guidance. Her home was a place of continuous learning, where strong virtues of character and discipline came before convenience. She believed that wisdom first shows in behaviour. Respect was not optional, and in her home, hard work was a duty, not a punishment. These were not lessons she spoke about often; she lived them daily, and her children learned by watching.
She understood early that raising a child is different from raising a son. A child can be protected, but a son must be prepared. From a young age, Mahmoud was taught that life would not always be easy, and that good character would matter long after titles and achievements. When he made mistakes, she corrected him calmly and explained why. When he did well, praise was simple and controlled. At one point, when his confidence began to grow early, she reminded him that being smart was good, but being willing to learn was better. That lesson stayed with him.
One of her strongest teachings was respect; not as a show, but as a habit. In her home, elders were respected, not feared. Younger ones were guided, not ignored. She taught the young Mahmoud that how a man treats people who cannot help him says more about him than how he behaves among important people.
Do you still wonder how he grew up to become an amazing person?
Hajiya Halima always went the extra mile to ensure that her children got the best life could offer, and education was part of it. She made sure her children attended good schools because, to her, education was more than certificates. It was about patience, curiosity, and listening. Mahmoud therefore grew up knowing that knowledge is meant to be useful, not a source of pride. This belief shaped how he spoke, how he listened, and how he carried himself as he moved through life.
Perhaps this is why he has dedicated his life to research, could not stop studying even after two PhDs, and has been in the classroom as a lecturer since 2018.
Faith was another quiet part of the home. It was steady. She taught him that faith should guide behaviour, not merely decorate identity. Values were expected to show in actions (in honesty, self-control, and kindness) especially when no one was watching.
Do you know the most beautiful part of Hajiya Halima’s relationship with her children? She did not box them into only her beliefs. She gave them room to think and decide, without stepping away from her role. Her guidance remained, but it became softer and wiser. Her authority did not reduce; it matured. Perhaps she realised early in life that there comes a time when learning begins to move both ways, and because she was intentional, life around her children never happened by surprise.
As Mahmoud entered wider academic and professional spaces, she noticed a confidence that was calm, not loud. He listened before speaking. He knew his place but was not afraid of any room. After one engagement, she quietly said that what gave her the greatest peace was not where he went, but how he behaved there and how the discipline she taught did not disappear with exposure, but became stronger. His respect remained steady. His humility stayed intact.
Despite being an intellectual, many times she finds herself learning through him; about new ideas and changing times. He grew quickly and became her link between generations, holding on to her values while adjusting to the modern world. In their conversations, she listened with interest, sometimes with surprise, and often with quiet pride. This is not the pride of ownership; it is the pride of effort fulfilled. Most beautifully, she raised a man who carried his roots with him wherever he went.
In the end, a mother’s true reward is not public praise, but the knowledge that her work was not wasted. For Hajiya Halima Ikwuji Alfa, that knowledge lives in the man her son continues to become; not only in what he has achieved, but in how he continues to grow.
Her pride shows in small things: how he reasons, how he treats people of all ages, and how open he remains to learning. It lives in the knowledge that the values she planted did not weaken under pressure, but grew stronger with responsibility. There is a deep sense of fulfilment when a mother realises that she has built in her son the values she once admired in others. It is even more peaceful when the young man’s greatest concern is how to make the world a better place.
This story is not about raising a perfect son. It is about raising a good man a man who carried his mother’s strengths forward, improved on them, and used them to open doors she once only imagined. In doing so, he did not replace her legacy; he extended it. When the time comes for her to stand before her Creator, she can do so with confidence, knowing that through Mahmoud, her values live on; that the generation she helped build is one she can be proud of; and that she did her part.
This is the story of a mother’s steady, careful, and lasting influence.
Thank you, Hajiya Halima Ikwuji Alfa, Esq., for giving Kogi East one of its most prized assets, Mahmoud Bala Alfa, PhD.
